Boulevard of Broken Dreams hehehe

I broke the secret, can't bear it anymore, needed someone to know and listen to my feelings, seems like I'm gonna explode with the emotions I kept even the only person whom I share the secrets with doesn't even know what really I'm feeling within. I thank God for having Rea to talk about it with.

The Revelation. Yes, at long last Rea knew about it, and told her the details, the confusions and asks her the questions which I'm trying to answer and not satisfied and doesn't believe in the possible response by myself. ---doesn't it sound crazy?! huh At least, the burden is light already, and just when I let someone knew about this craziness I had, the following day, I knew what the answers to some of my questions. :=)

She's back! I mean the love of my bestfriend's life... sad to say but yes, he's busy with keeping the communication with her. If it wasn't for Ling I wouldn't know that he's keeping another number that's why he's not texting that much and his number is off every nighttime, this actually made me wonder because I never remember having out of service in his place, at first I was thinking maybe he just turned it off and some sorts but it's a different thing. It's been a while now since our last meeting and conversation. This simply mean, I miss him. :=)

My reaction: Uh, to be honest with my self, I was hurt but was diverted right away, when at the back of my mind someone whispers to me "you should be happy for him ...." and I come to realize that it was just a feeling of guilt, hurt for he didn't tell me these things and that he's keeping it as a secret. Sakitan ko coz I know I'm out of the picture na, but as I contemplat on it, I shouldn't be, coz this just means that I should be strong for our friendship and be willing to accept whatever choice he made. Sacrifice my own happiness for the one I love and care so much.

Now, I can't say that I am already free from the hurt but I'm trying to let it go and move on with my life, and open another chapter, I understand how he loves her but if ever he comes to me in pain again of losing her, my shoulders and ready to have him lean on, my arms are open to hug him and comfort him 'til all his tears will dry and 'til he sleeps from pain.

Baks, you should know, how I care so much about you, we may not be very open with each others regarding our feelings but I would want you to know, how special you are to me, I love you and Ling ling so much, that it would cause so much pain in my heart to lose you. I hope you'll find happiness, and don't worry you'll still have me, take care and good luck. mwuah!