coaching

It's hard to be me. It's hard to pretend. I can't believe I was just told "walay batasan..." that hurts really.... oftentimes I'm being misinterpreted, the way I act, the way I look at a person who approaches me when I'm in the middle of an annoying call, the way I speak....I know I don't own that soft, sweet voice during a conversation, and I must admit I am not a sweet person. Oftentimes people would think that I'm angry at them coz pirmi ko mosingka kon mo istorya but it's natural for me, I tried several times to at least mellow my voice but I can't!

Whenever I'm pissed I normally just stay in a corner and shut up, if I can't bear it anymore one liners would come out of my mouth. I say very nasty words when I'm angry, and you can see in me I'm controlling my emotions...I always hold it, afraid of war.

If friendliness means speaking in a subtle manner well probably I'm not friendly :( sorry to offend me...myself... i'm just being me, it's hard to pretend really...am i rude? i'm being hard on myself maybe, my emotions are not stable, i'm having this very very thick shield that i don't want to be seen by others and afraid to be reached out because i'm afraid to be laughed at so that's probably what's the effect...

Am i just being transparent? or it's just simply impoliteness. I'm dead. :( I wanted to be respected, wanted to be loved, wanted to befriend with. It hurts really if someone would call you bastos, walay batasan right in your face.

mkaingon ka, "how dare this person saying these things to me, when he doesn't know me that much at all?" but then again i can't blame the person, just like the others "i'm again misinterpreted" i forgave the person already who said it to me today, i'll try to control myself