secrets.....revealed

Whew! what a week, finally Romarlon arrived from a week vacation and somehow that helped eased the pain, for missing him, missing each other perhaps :) I don't know how to start it but I would like to write it all here! I can't sleep thinking about it...I have been keeping secrets with Ling, which doubled if not tripled the pain. I have been having secret affairs, where no one knows...even myself is in denial of it, but the distance between the "concerned party" made it clear between us two....unknowingly we already had taken a different level in our relationship.

Is it love really? I'm still confused, seems like I don't feel the love but hell I'm missing him everyday! I can't sleep thinking about it.... I was just waiting for a clue then I'll accept whatever he says...

We met, he hugged me tightly...he misses me much, and I just realized how I miss him so much...we hugged, we kissed and that's it, then when he started talking, he wants to make it official with our bestfriend Ling, but I don't know how to tell her, he also doesn't know how to start, but he assured me, he's gonna answer whatever question Ling might ask.... (it made me scared....)

Seeing him leave tripled the pain I'm feeling and it made me want to go wherever he's going so I could be with him all the time, just the thought of him staying in Manila for months give me hurtaches :( Now that he's there we tried to text each other, I know how busy he is, and I pity him so much especially if he sends me text message that he's so tired, and that he's doing some errands.... and from time to time, he worries about our little secret.

baks, i love you remember that, i'm sorry if i'm so samokan lately, i just miss you, damn you, you're making my days miserable! this is a struggle baks, when i got ur message last night that you might be stucked for several months before you can go back here, shets i wanna cry out loud coz of pain........it worries me.... not only that...i worry about a lot of things lately, not only the secret relationship we had i also worried, of what may happen next.... huhuhuhu