note

i found it somewhere at home, written in a yellow green "post-it" pad, i remembered posting it in my cabinet at one point because i feel like doing so hahahah here goes:

dear baks,

i have wasted so much time waiting for your text message or a call or a word via a friend or acquaintance...i don't know if i needed to stop waiting na, should i baks? i'm still hopeful, i want you to do the first move we both need reconciliation, i'm no longer hoping nga mgka-uyab pa tag balik i just want the old friendship back i miss my best friend, your company...let's not waste all that we've shared. everyday i'm praying magparamdam unta ka too much martyrdom na ni i know but that's how i love you and this is how i value our friendship, we had shared so much, tingai we're not meant to be lovers, instead we are meant to be friends forever. i know you still value our pinagsamahan as mush as i do..and you don't want to waste such a bond we've had through the years, am i still your best friend? do you still love your dear friend?
it's a wrong decision to take the next level of our relationship and i will carry it probably 'til death most especially kon our friendship would just end because of such stupidity.
i have nothing against "her" and i trust your feeling towards her, i knew it even before...i'm wishing all the best for you both :)
i'll be waiting for you still, if you're ready to talk aobut things, you know how and where to reach me, and if you need someone to talk with someone to ask for ideas i'm just a text away.

forgetting a friend is like forgetting how to breathe, i've grown so used and dependent on it that i don't know if i can forget you but i'll forget you eventually... after i've forgotten how to breathe...

P.S.
ingon ka you're not gonna leave me, you promised...wer u na? :(

reading again the note, it's all coming back again but this time no bitterness, i remember how i was hurt then...and reading it again makes me laugh and feel ashamed of my "emo churvalo" hahahah yeah it's me i get "over emotional" when i'm hurt, in love and broken hearted. well, i guess i'll be posting some of the old notes i've written in numerous pieces of paper before, including tissues hahaha when i'm desperate to write and can't get hold of anything decent to write on, i scribble even at the back of the receipts....